All We Need is a Little More Grace

I close my eyes and think back to when I was seven years old and my mom would stoop down, lean into me and sternly say “now when you go over there to play sweetie, remember, do not talk to any strangers”. Her eyes would widen as if she knew that darkness was lurking outside my grandmother’s three story house in the Bronx. My childhood friend’s house was just two homes away, less than 500 feet from my nana’s house. Yet, my mother was trying to forewarn me about the big bad monsters that could come snatch me away from my childhood, my joy.

 As I think about the current state of affairs, and the cases of Covid-19 intensify, I am reminded of this learned fear that my mother once expressed and instilled in me. The fear of the unknown, the fear of the invisible, this overwhelming fear that is capable of causing so much grief. 

When I look outside of my North Carolina window, I hardly see any people. Sure, there is the occasional housewife that takes her 7AM morning walk around the cul de sac, but things just feel different. A few mornings back, I went for a walk and had two interesting encounters. First, I greeted a neighbor of whom I had not previously interacted. She happened to be outside tending to her garden and she looked at me for a split second, then turned away as if not to take notice. I then greeted her and said “hello, now you have the right idea” while nodding towards her lovely garden. She smiled and replied, “yes, it’s a lovely day”. It was in that moment that I realized that we are all processing this current situation in our own way. We are working on adjusting to a new normal, a new way of co-existing. 

When I returned home from my walk, a worker’s vehicle approached me.  I moved to the other side of the road as I would have normally just to get out of the way, but when the worker got out of his vehicle, I experienced something familiar; fear. The voice of fear from my childhood spoke, "remember, do not talk to any strangers"!  Only this time, the stranger could be harboring the Corona virus.  Something in me had shifted, something in all of us is shifting. I sensed this same feeling from the look in my neighbor’s eyes. Fear. I knew then that I would have to learn how to take control of my emotions in a very deliberate way.  I would have to change the way I interact with everyone, close relationships and strangers. I set a new goal, eliminate fear so that it does not consume me.

I am reminded of a comforting quote  - Let love be your guide, not fear. How can we continue to practice social distancing without compromising our innate ability to communicate with others? Social connection is what helps us cope, especially now.

5 Ways To Connect with Others During the Corona Virus Quarantine

1. Show Grace - These are unprecedented times. As you head to the grocery store to replenish your stock at home, think about whether or not you could be of service to others.  Make yourself available to those in need, particularly the elderly. Continue to exercise safety and discretion of course as you think of ways to be of service during this time.
2. Smile - This is especially important. Just a simple smile can put someone else at ease.  Good energy is contagious, and when we put out positive vibes, we lift people up and we need that to spread.
3. Be Creative - Use social media to establish individual or group interactions with your friends and family members. Organize virtual family meet ups where you can share updates or stories, play music, laugh or even remotely dine in together.  Get creative with it! Maybe gather up the family and head into the kitchen and cook dinner together. Try a new recipe, take turns cooking a new dish that each person chooses on a different night. Dress up for dinner and play some of your favorite tunes to make it more interesting.  Another fun idea is to play interactive board games. 
4. Write - a journal, a poem, an article, a letter, something expressed through writing. Writing is cathartic. How about taking this time to write a letter to a family member or friend? Express your emotions, share your thoughts, pour your feelings out through written expression.
5. Meditation - So what does meditation have to do with social interaction? Your ability to self reflect and channel your inner soul will have positive effects on your external communications. When we plug into ourselves, we are capable of being fully present for others. Give it a try and you will be surprised to see the results. 

 Stay safe, show grace and remember, freedom starts in your mind!